i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
