I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
