I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
