yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
