Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
