I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
