Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
