you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
