I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
