after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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