this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
