I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
