i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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