i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize