It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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