I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I need help removing her.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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