apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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