What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
