Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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