yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize