Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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