goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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