I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
His nipple licking is glorious
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