the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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