Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
