You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
