dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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