HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize