i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Buhtt sex?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
