in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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