sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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