I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
