i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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