Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
