Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
