week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
is it fun? or sober?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
