He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
