Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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