Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
