Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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