how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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