I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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