I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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