So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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