In America we eat man semen.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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