dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
