worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
wow bdsm is so cute
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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