If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
