yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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