Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
operation have a gay friend backfired
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
