I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
