I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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