My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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