I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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