I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
