Where is the hickey?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize