all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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