her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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