I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
