Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
