perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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