So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
