singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
