I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I need to calm my uterus...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
